How Do You Say 'Thanks, But No Thanks'

I've never been so arrogant as to think I know it all, but I have a system that I employ when it comes to unchartered territory. If I am entering the land of the unknown, then I do research. If I hit something along the way that I think someone else might know, then I ask.

What I am less in favor of, in fact what sincerely annoys me, is the mountain of unsolicited advice we receive on a daily basis. And not just always unsolicited advice, but unsolicited judgments, doctrines, dissertations, and all sorts of verbal discourse that I'm simply not interested in.

Of course I can be just as guilty. You feel that you're being helpful when a colleague or a friend is going through something that you've been through or doing something that you've done, like buying a house or hanging gutters. I'm trying to learn to gauge the other person's reaction to see if I should continue my diatribe or just keep my trap shut. I've also come close to perfecting that incredibly bored look that I now use when someone is advising me without my consent. What also works, but is quite rude, is to whip out your cell phone and start texting someone. That'll drive the message home.

What it all comes down to is my natural instict to be self-sufficient. I want to solve the problem myself, but I do know when to ask for help. I just don't want to be told what to do when I want to navigate blindly through the experience du jour. Sometimes that can be scary -- the unknown. But we don't always have to make it okay for someone else. Maybe we can do that all on our own.

Resolutions

I think I always resolve to write more when I enter a new year (hence the attempt at blogging, again), but this year I feel like I have a lot to say. I am on the brink of so many things -- marriage, motherhood, turning 30 (gulp) and finally feeling that what I have experienced up to this point merits some respect and reflection.

I, like my older brother, had a goal of being a published author at 30. But life happened. I would still like to see that dream through, and after many failed attempts at writing The Counting Years, I finally see a new direction that will force me to start from ground zero, scrapping 65-plus pages, two versions and countless edits and re-edits. But I think what will come out will be a more mature voice with a clear story that I feel needs to be told.

Here's to a positive, prosperous and productive 2010.